racoons.....

finally over it.

interesting factoid: they like marshmallows, if they're not cooked.


one more thing, my worst pet peeve right now is when someone texts you and gives you a mountain of crap for not knowing who he/she is. there's probably a good a reason why I don't have your number.

on a positive note, I am going to win the mcdonalds monopoly challenge this year. seriously, who do you know personally that's won one of those? well, you will soon.

Fo Sho..

its too late to be typing right now, fo sho. but i feel like it.

I just got back from San Fran and it was quite a trip. visited my ol friend/ex papa pistolero band member: Mckay. did some site seeing, shopping and a hell of a lot of driving. If I had to say one thing in the trip that was most memorable, it had to be when we walked into a bar at 5 in the afternoon and some 80 year old guy tried to buy jut and I a drink. Actually, it was more Jut than I. we really didn't think anything of it. obviously san fran is the gayest city on the map and we just assumed that we might have looked gay. However, upon observation, it turned out to be a gay bar, and that's where doods meet other doods to meat. sick. what else?

we crossed the golden gate bridge too.

I bought some hello kitty figures in chinatown.

Ate a bunch of food.

the only manly thing we did was going to the giants game.

all in all, it was a good trip. much needed break from provo.

the last samurai.....

tom cruise can kiss my yellow ass.

they have come to destroy us...

my first memory of America probably would be oatmeal. I was pissed that we couldn't eat fish and fermented soy beans for breakfast anymore. But, my second memory would definitely be July 4th, i.e. independence day.

It really didn't make much sense to me at the time, but now since I've lived here for so long, my eyes have opened, literally and figuratively speaking.

the parades was so strange. our dad would make my brother and I stay up till like 3 in da mornin to go save a spot in front of farrer middle school on center street. by the time the parade started, we would be too tired to even watch it.

in the later years, my dad would host his infamous July 4th bbq in our backyard. the ironic thing was, there were usually no Americans there to celebrate America day. just the good ole asians talking about their kids being on the honor roll.

and then for the finalle, the fireworks.

America, fuck yeah.

just so you know..

... shaq recently spit some hate game at kobe for losing the NBA finals. fortunately, I got to witness this historical event three thousand times via ESPN. unfortunately, I didn't quite get to grasp the whole notion of this "rap" because the FCC decided that it's unemployed, 40 year old day time ESPN winos couldn't handle it.

well, for all yall that felt gipped for not knowing what the came after the word "my"on the whole "Kobe, how my bleep tastes" line, I have some kind of resolve for you. and I wanted to believe that shaq was talking about lil' shaq, but I was wrong.


check it.

I think ghost are real...

pretty good

part deux

change

money, the root of all awesomeness. in many respects, money can be considered a religion. A: everyone seems to believe in it. B: its something that can be used or abused. C: it procreates a certain sense of purpose in people. D: breeds segregation or separation. and finally E: it's all that fucking matters, right?

Hmmm... that came of kind of preachy. lets start over.

Love & Obey the all mighty Muhney or the gods will punish you dearly....... uh.... psych!

So, I was counting up all my change today and I had over 100 bones!!! actually 132 clams to be exact, well excluding the pennies of course. and I hustled 20 dollars from my co-worker, yeah I said it, I effing hustled it, aight. thanks Dan.

Speaking of which, the Celtics downright R. Kelly'd the Lakers 2nite. taste that sweet urine Phil Jackson. Also, for all you a-holes that voted Kobe for MVP not only for the 2008 season, but for game 4 of the NBA finals, you can suck it. Paul Pierce was the MVP yo. nuff said.

only one thing stands in their way...

The epic battle between black and white still rages on.

However, the epicer battle between the celtics and Lakers will come to an end 2nite!!!.... maybe?

btw, for all you fags out there complaining about Magic still being alive even after his whole AIDS thing. Its not because he has HIV negative, its because he's rich beotch!

p.s. Magic, you shouldn't make jersey love to that sacred trophy.

one more thing....

finally, michael is back on top. I didn't know stevie was good at the drums yo

dang earl

for all the ladies out there.

bordumb

PMA: positive mental attitude.

today, I was pretty much pissed all day cause this bitch decided to crisco city my car that just got detailed. after spending 50 bucks, 3 hours and 4 nasty texts(not the "kinky" nasty kind btw), I went looking for a wall to hole.

Then, I started to work on my bike project and I broke the frame. another hole in the wall moment.

After that I watched the Celtics get bitch slapped by kobe. I started hulking.

Have you ever watched the Carson daily show? he is the only person in the known galaxy to look better when he was fat.

Well, it was just that kind of day I guess.

Fortunately, I got some PMA reports. 2 blogs 2 days. pretty gud huh? 2 girls 1 cup, pretty shitty eh? and lastly but not leastly I have three days off this week beetches. trasmission complete.

yes sir

nothing like seeing the devil again for the first time.

for the longest time, I believed that the devil did not exist, I mean if god exists, the devil must exist, yeah? well, I didn't exactly do the math. but, what I'm trying to say is that I was wrong.

it was on a sidewalk, curled up, scared for its life. I offered it some lemon water drink but it didn't even flinch. but in all fairness, I guess it was his duty to offer the goods not mine, so I wasn't too bumhurt about it. well, it just sat there looking at me time to time, and me at it. however, he would go in and out of napping, like I was nothing to him, like I was a piece of furniture in his ikea'd out living room.

I tried provoking it by talking to it or getting up and pretending to peace out. but again, no commotion. it would just pay me a stare and go back into it's temporary comatose. weird as this may sound, when I stared into its eyes, I saw a little me in it.

it's funny how you don't really know someone till you really look at them, I mean, REALLY look at them. you know how it gets weird when you say one word repeatedly? especially a name. it distorts the image from its owner and becomes a completely separate entity. Well, when I studied its face, its title became abstract. I didn't see the devil no mo. I saw something that I could related to. someone thats just like me.

This was the moment in time when all the all's of the universe made sense. it came full circle, so to speak. I am the devil, the devil is me. x+y=z, thus z+y=x, you know what I mean? there's all this hype on being individuals or "indie", but when all is said and done, we all came from the same idea. so why hate? even on the devil?

i guess what I got out of this was that I shouldn't be scared of baby racoon's, or all other types of racoon's for that matter. and that I shouldn't hate, I should relate.

yep

so I was an hour late to work today. I've never done that. well, except for that one time, when I was so tired, I decided to not wake up. actually, I've been late to work a lot. almost everyday. at least 10 minutes. I get a coffee every morning. even if I am already late. coffee is my vice. it makes my teeth all yellow. it makes my heart beat in all different strokes. different strokes. I never watched that show. ever. not really into the whole, late sixties/seventies tv series buzz. I guess the cosby show is aight. but all the other shows, bores me. I can't relate to it. although I like shows about the sixties/seventies/eighties. freaks and geeks. I can watch that show all day. judd apatow is a great human. he makes great teenager shows.
okay, okay. this blog sucks so far. let me make it up to you.
So, if you found out that your girlfriend was a hermaphrodite, and she got her peepee sliced off when she was an infant, would that be really weird? kinda weird? super weird? fucking weird. yeah. Ken is dealing with it right now on freaks and geeks. I personally would kinda freak out about it. Sam is also gonna break up with his hot cheerleader girlfriend. yeah, she sucks. this show rules. guh night

DNO

blogging sucks, but I'm back. I don't have any cool pictures or any juicy gossip about provo's finest, so this may not interest most of you. but here's the skinny on my recently's.

I've been watching a buttload of movies this week, and I would like the world to know that movies are one of the most fantastic inventions created by man.

So, I've watched superbad about 4 times this week. now I'm watching evil dead 2...... johnny just assed me if I was blogging, btw. eff him, jk bone. jk bone is your new nickname. I've also watched knocked up, 4o year old virgin, lost in translation and a bunch of studio gibli movies.

Anyhow, I was just thinkin, if movies weren't invented, what would we do all the time? what would you do with your friends? go jogging together? see how many high fives you can do in an hour? talk to each other..... about stuff?

its sad that we take movies or cable tv for granted. There's been a moment in time where each and every one of us have talked shit of the boob toob. hey, its not wrong. it's not wasting time. yeah, eff you. cause, I can truely say that some of the most memorable times I've spent with friends comes from watching movies.

So, in conclusion, friends and movies come hand in hand, like high fives. and if your hanging out with someone that don't like the movies you like, you guys probably shouldn't be friends. kapeeeesh?

it's always sunny up my ass

I just felt like I needed to write something since I haven't for such a long time. So if you do continue reading this blog, you might be wasting your time completely. however, I might slip out some awesome secret somewhere in this blog, so if you think you can skim through it, you might miss something. then again, there probably won't be anything worthwhile. but if there is, you might regret it because I might delete this blog due to its worthless content. I guess you can be the judge. speaking of which, I hate judges. all they do is tell people to pay up or go to jail. they must have terrible karma.

today, when I was making sushi for a table of cops, I put a booger in one of their rolls. it felt good. they had it coming. if you ever eff me over, I will put boogys in your sushi too, so watch out. speaking of which, I haven't done any pranks lately. it's killing the little child in me. I need some new ideas for some pranks. I'm sick of all the ones I been doing. The funny thing is, I know that I've been slacking on pranks when people stop blaming me for stupid shit that happens to them. anyhow, let me know if you think of any good ones, or just do it to me. whichever.

why does music sound so good when it's soooo loud? its like sprinkling msg on your sesame chicken, it just adds another dimension, you know? I've been listening to cursive for the last hour, and it rules. the good thing about listening to music really loud is that you can sing along to it and you don't feel that stupid, you know?