yep

so I was an hour late to work today. I've never done that. well, except for that one time, when I was so tired, I decided to not wake up. actually, I've been late to work a lot. almost everyday. at least 10 minutes. I get a coffee every morning. even if I am already late. coffee is my vice. it makes my teeth all yellow. it makes my heart beat in all different strokes. different strokes. I never watched that show. ever. not really into the whole, late sixties/seventies tv series buzz. I guess the cosby show is aight. but all the other shows, bores me. I can't relate to it. although I like shows about the sixties/seventies/eighties. freaks and geeks. I can watch that show all day. judd apatow is a great human. he makes great teenager shows.
okay, okay. this blog sucks so far. let me make it up to you.
So, if you found out that your girlfriend was a hermaphrodite, and she got her peepee sliced off when she was an infant, would that be really weird? kinda weird? super weird? fucking weird. yeah. Ken is dealing with it right now on freaks and geeks. I personally would kinda freak out about it. Sam is also gonna break up with his hot cheerleader girlfriend. yeah, she sucks. this show rules. guh night

DNO

blogging sucks, but I'm back. I don't have any cool pictures or any juicy gossip about provo's finest, so this may not interest most of you. but here's the skinny on my recently's.

I've been watching a buttload of movies this week, and I would like the world to know that movies are one of the most fantastic inventions created by man.

So, I've watched superbad about 4 times this week. now I'm watching evil dead 2...... johnny just assed me if I was blogging, btw. eff him, jk bone. jk bone is your new nickname. I've also watched knocked up, 4o year old virgin, lost in translation and a bunch of studio gibli movies.

Anyhow, I was just thinkin, if movies weren't invented, what would we do all the time? what would you do with your friends? go jogging together? see how many high fives you can do in an hour? talk to each other..... about stuff?

its sad that we take movies or cable tv for granted. There's been a moment in time where each and every one of us have talked shit of the boob toob. hey, its not wrong. it's not wasting time. yeah, eff you. cause, I can truely say that some of the most memorable times I've spent with friends comes from watching movies.

So, in conclusion, friends and movies come hand in hand, like high fives. and if your hanging out with someone that don't like the movies you like, you guys probably shouldn't be friends. kapeeeesh?

it's always sunny up my ass

I just felt like I needed to write something since I haven't for such a long time. So if you do continue reading this blog, you might be wasting your time completely. however, I might slip out some awesome secret somewhere in this blog, so if you think you can skim through it, you might miss something. then again, there probably won't be anything worthwhile. but if there is, you might regret it because I might delete this blog due to its worthless content. I guess you can be the judge. speaking of which, I hate judges. all they do is tell people to pay up or go to jail. they must have terrible karma.

today, when I was making sushi for a table of cops, I put a booger in one of their rolls. it felt good. they had it coming. if you ever eff me over, I will put boogys in your sushi too, so watch out. speaking of which, I haven't done any pranks lately. it's killing the little child in me. I need some new ideas for some pranks. I'm sick of all the ones I been doing. The funny thing is, I know that I've been slacking on pranks when people stop blaming me for stupid shit that happens to them. anyhow, let me know if you think of any good ones, or just do it to me. whichever.

why does music sound so good when it's soooo loud? its like sprinkling msg on your sesame chicken, it just adds another dimension, you know? I've been listening to cursive for the last hour, and it rules. the good thing about listening to music really loud is that you can sing along to it and you don't feel that stupid, you know?

pizza

thank god for domino's. its the christmas miracle on bulldog avenue.

the "we"kend

for some time now, I have been plagued with the so called "work disease". I don't really recall how I contracted it, but it might have been from the time when I slept with my first cousins, best friends, mother-in-laws twenty dollar bill.
to be quite honest, I don't think its a disease. being a pathetic socialite might be the actual disease.
work is a quick antidote for people like me who have a hard time compiling the "to dos" on my to do list.
work is like smoking weed. time goes slow like a bologna sandwich on a plate. also, it tends to keep you thinking that you're doing something worth your time. and after you come down from it, you always wonder what the fuck you were doing.
so in essence, work is a natural drug. and we are trying to forget what we might have been doing at the time we are doing it.

where was I? to dumb it all down, i work to pass the time, and also to collect paper in to my wallet dispenser. then proceed to habitually use the money to buy things to pass the time. and then i utilize the object i bought to pass the time even quicker and so on and so forth. the cycle goes on.
so, why is time so valued in this time and age if we are in constant struggle to not look at our wristwatches? why do people try to preserve it like its the fucking manatees?
when people ask me why i work so much in a negative way, it makes me feel like i'm doing something terribly wrong. usually they tend to say things like "why don't you go back to school and get a real career" or "hiro, you are my hero".
now, why the hell do i need a career? so i can someday support people who i can call family that will go through the same moral dilemma as I?
my analyst keeps telling me that the reason why girls won't love me is because i don't set my own path. and that the goals in my life has goalies the size of a black man's cock blocking it. i believe that the real problem is that i have a make-believe shrink that tells me things while i try to type my blog, and also that i use a racial stereotypes for my metaphorical analogies. if only i had an imaginary spice girl singing in my ear, inspiring me to tell them what i really really want.

i do want to apologize for the collar not matching the cuffs. the title really didn't resemble anything i had to say in this blog.

4 effs sake

christmas time is just around the bend, and it seemed like a proper time to conjure up a new blog. like most pseudo christian, i start feeling the christmas spirit this time of year. but what really is this christmas spirit that everyone seems to get? and why come we succumb to it so swiftly? in light of my new aged outlook, i felt as though there should be a simple answer to this question. I don't want to sound cliche' and start talking about the marketing geniuses that comprise the mass sell of selling. but instead focus on the sellers of the spirit in itself.
adults are the #1 consumers of this make believe entity. unlike believing in santa himself, we adults believe that kids need to be coerced into believing the magic of christmas. many speculate that a child's exposure to impossibilities will multiply the child's left brain activity, thus spawning a different breed of adults. ones with broader imaginations, or an out of the box thinkers so to speak. the paradox of this is that in adult-land, they hate anybody that won't fit the mold of the average. normality is human nature. its like a bird already knowing how to spread its wings and fly.
so, why do most parents put kids through this torture? is this a path that every child needs to take in order to ease into the so-called "reality". in the movie "the matrix", neo has a hard time adjusting to the "real world". morpheaus gently tells him that it is hard for an adult to take such harsh reality, and it's much easier for a kid to adjust to the brutal concept of reality. so, why don't parents just skip the foreplay and tell the kids from early on that santa is as real as a unicorn shooting marshmallow farts. wouldn't the innocent child be more sculpted for the real world in his/her midst?
now, the reality is, I have no fucking clue where i'm going with this. it seems as though i broke my train of thought by thinking far too much. the irony in all this is that if i would have been a more avid thinker, i wouldn't have run into this sort of conundrum. so let me just end by saying, to be continued..... maybe...

saturday nights

philly steak pizza, stargate, one cigarette, high cassian, josh everett, bret, and blogspot. if stargate shows boobs, would just about be the best night of my life.