I am "That guy"

racoons.....

2008-10-24T14:56:00.000-07:00

finally over it.

interesting factoid: they like marshmallows, if they're not cooked.

one more thing, my worst pet peeve right now is when someone texts you and gives you a mountain of crap for not knowing who he/she is. there's probably a good a reason why I don't have your number.

on a positive note, I am going to win the mcdonalds monopoly challenge this year. seriously, who do you know personally that's won one of those? well, you will soon.

Fo Sho..

2008-08-30T01:49:00.000-07:00

its too late to be typing right now, fo sho. but i feel like it.

I just got back from San Fran and it was quite a trip. visited my ol friend/ex papa pistolero band member: Mckay. did some site seeing, shopping and a hell of a lot of driving. If I had to say one thing in the trip that was most memorable, it had to be when we walked into a bar at 5 in the afternoon and some 80 year old guy tried to buy jut and I a drink. Actually, it was more Jut than I. we really didn't think anything of it. obviously san fran is the gayest city on the map and we just assumed that we might have looked gay. However, upon observation, it turned out to be a gay bar, and that's where doods meet other doods to meat. sick. what else?

we crossed the golden gate bridge too.

I bought some hello kitty figures in chinatown.

Ate a bunch of food.

the only manly thing we did was going to the giants game.

all in all, it was a good trip. much needed break from provo.

the last samurai.....

2008-08-18T20:45:00.001-07:00

tom cruise can kiss my yellow ass.

they have come to destroy us...

2008-07-04T11:17:00.000-07:00

my first memory of America probably would be oatmeal. I was pissed that we couldn't eat fish and fermented soy beans for breakfast anymore. But, my second memory would definitely be July 4th, i.e. independence day.

It really didn't make much sense to me at the time, but now since I've lived here for so long, my eyes have opened, literally and figuratively speaking.

the parades was so strange. our dad would make my brother and I stay up till like 3 in da mornin to go save a spot in front of farrer middle school on center street. by the time the parade started, we would be too tired to even watch it.

in the later years, my dad would host his infamous July 4th bbq in our backyard. the ironic thing was, there were usually no Americans there to celebrate America day. just the good ole asians talking about their kids being on the honor roll.

and then for the finalle, the fireworks.

America, fuck yeah.

just so you know..

2008-06-26T02:34:00.000-07:00

... shaq recently spit some hate game at kobe for losing the NBA finals. fortunately, I got to witness this historical event three thousand times via ESPN. unfortunately, I didn't quite get to grasp the whole notion of this "rap" because the FCC decided that it's unemployed, 40 year old day time ESPN winos couldn't handle it.

well, for all yall that felt gipped for not knowing what the came after the word "my"on the whole "Kobe, how my bleep tastes" line, I have some kind of resolve for you. and I wanted to believe that shaq was talking about lil' shaq, but I was wrong.

check it.

I think ghost are real...

2008-06-22T01:43:00.000-07:00

pretty good

2008-06-22T01:01:00.001-07:00

part deux

2008-06-19T15:08:00.000-07:00

change

2008-06-18T00:39:00.000-07:00

money, the root of all awesomeness. in many respects, money can be considered a religion. A: everyone seems to believe in it. B: its something that can be used or abused. C: it procreates a certain sense of purpose in people. D: breeds segregation or separation. and finally E: it's all that fucking matters, right?

Hmmm... that came of kind of preachy. lets start over.

Love & Obey the all mighty Muhney or the gods will punish you dearly....... uh.... psych!

So, I was counting up all my change today and I had over 100 bones!!! actually 132 clams to be exact, well excluding the pennies of course. and I hustled 20 dollars from my co-worker, yeah I said it, I effing hustled it, aight. thanks Dan.

Speaking of which, the Celtics downright R. Kelly'd the Lakers 2nite. taste that sweet urine Phil Jackson. Also, for all you a-holes that voted Kobe for MVP not only for the 2008 season, but for game 4 of the NBA finals, you can suck it. Paul Pierce was the MVP yo. nuff said.

only one thing stands in their way...

2008-06-17T16:24:00.000-07:00

The epic battle between black and white still rages on.

However, the epicer battle between the celtics and Lakers will come to an end 2nite!!!.... maybe?

btw, for all you fags out there complaining about Magic still being alive even after his whole AIDS thing. Its not because he has HIV negative, its because he's rich beotch!

p.s. Magic, you shouldn't make jersey love to that sacred trophy.

one more thing....

2008-06-16T22:13:00.000-07:00

finally, michael is back on top. I didn't know stevie was good at the drums yo

dang earl

2008-06-16T21:38:00.000-07:00

for all the ladies out there.

bordumb

2008-06-11T00:01:00.000-07:00

PMA: positive mental attitude.

today, I was pretty much pissed all day cause this bitch decided to crisco city my car that just got detailed. after spending 50 bucks, 3 hours and 4 nasty texts(not the "kinky" nasty kind btw), I went looking for a wall to hole.

Then, I started to work on my bike project and I broke the frame. another hole in the wall moment.

After that I watched the Celtics get bitch slapped by kobe. I started hulking.

Have you ever watched the Carson daily show? he is the only person in the known galaxy to look better when he was fat.

Well, it was just that kind of day I guess.

Fortunately, I got some PMA reports. 2 blogs 2 days. pretty gud huh? 2 girls 1 cup, pretty shitty eh? and lastly but not leastly I have three days off this week beetches. trasmission complete.

yes sir

2008-06-10T00:26:00.000-07:00

nothing like seeing the devil again for the first time.

for the longest time, I believed that the devil did not exist, I mean if god exists, the devil must exist, yeah? well, I didn't exactly do the math. but, what I'm trying to say is that I was wrong.

it was on a sidewalk, curled up, scared for its life. I offered it some lemon water drink but it didn't even flinch. but in all fairness, I guess it was his duty to offer the goods not mine, so I wasn't too bumhurt about it. well, it just sat there looking at me time to time, and me at it. however, he would go in and out of napping, like I was nothing to him, like I was a piece of furniture in his ikea'd out living room.

I tried provoking it by talking to it or getting up and pretending to peace out. but again, no commotion. it would just pay me a stare and go back into it's temporary comatose. weird as this may sound, when I stared into its eyes, I saw a little me in it.

it's funny how you don't really know someone till you really look at them, I mean, REALLY look at them. you know how it gets weird when you say one word repeatedly? especially a name. it distorts the image from its owner and becomes a completely separate entity. Well, when I studied its face, its title became abstract. I didn't see the devil no mo. I saw something that I could related to. someone thats just like me.

This was the moment in time when all the all's of the universe made sense. it came full circle, so to speak. I am the devil, the devil is me. x+y=z, thus z+y=x, you know what I mean? there's all this hype on being individuals or "indie", but when all is said and done, we all came from the same idea. so why hate? even on the devil?

i guess what I got out of this was that I shouldn't be scared of baby racoon's, or all other types of racoon's for that matter. and that I shouldn't hate, I should relate.

yep

2008-04-22T00:25:00.000-07:00

so I was an hour late to work today. I've never done that. well, except for that one time, when I was so tired, I decided to not wake up. actually, I've been late to work a lot. almost everyday. at least 10 minutes. I get a coffee every morning. even if I am already late. coffee is my vice. it makes my teeth all yellow. it makes my heart beat in all different strokes. different strokes. I never watched that show. ever. not really into the whole, late sixties/seventies tv series buzz. I guess the cosby show is aight. but all the other shows, bores me. I can't relate to it. although I like shows about the sixties/seventies/eighties. freaks and geeks. I can watch that show all day. judd apatow is a great human. he makes great teenager shows.
okay, okay. this blog sucks so far. let me make it up to you.
So, if you found out that your girlfriend was a hermaphrodite, and she got her peepee sliced off when she was an infant, would that be really weird? kinda weird? super weird? fucking weird. yeah. Ken is dealing with it right now on freaks and geeks. I personally would kinda freak out about it. Sam is also gonna break up with his hot cheerleader girlfriend. yeah, she sucks. this show rules. guh night

DNO

2008-04-05T01:15:00.000-07:00

blogging sucks, but I'm back. I don't have any cool pictures or any juicy gossip about provo's finest, so this may not interest most of you. but here's the skinny on my recently's.

I've been watching a buttload of movies this week, and I would like the world to know that movies are one of the most fantastic inventions created by man.

So, I've watched superbad about 4 times this week. now I'm watching evil dead 2...... johnny just assed me if I was blogging, btw. eff him, jk bone. jk bone is your new nickname. I've also watched knocked up, 4o year old virgin, lost in translation and a bunch of studio gibli movies.

Anyhow, I was just thinkin, if movies weren't invented, what would we do all the time? what would you do with your friends? go jogging together? see how many high fives you can do in an hour? talk to each other..... about stuff?

its sad that we take movies or cable tv for granted. There's been a moment in time where each and every one of us have talked shit of the boob toob. hey, its not wrong. it's not wasting time. yeah, eff you. cause, I can truely say that some of the most memorable times I've spent with friends comes from watching movies.

So, in conclusion, friends and movies come hand in hand, like high fives. and if your hanging out with someone that don't like the movies you like, you guys probably shouldn't be friends. kapeeeesh?

it's always sunny up my ass

2008-01-16T15:07:00.000-08:00

I just felt like I needed to write something since I haven't for such a long time. So if you do continue reading this blog, you might be wasting your time completely. however, I might slip out some awesome secret somewhere in this blog, so if you think you can skim through it, you might miss something. then again, there probably won't be anything worthwhile. but if there is, you might regret it because I might delete this blog due to its worthless content. I guess you can be the judge. speaking of which, I hate judges. all they do is tell people to pay up or go to jail. they must have terrible karma.

today, when I was making sushi for a table of cops, I put a booger in one of their rolls. it felt good. they had it coming. if you ever eff me over, I will put boogys in your sushi too, so watch out. speaking of which, I haven't done any pranks lately. it's killing the little child in me. I need some new ideas for some pranks. I'm sick of all the ones I been doing. The funny thing is, I know that I've been slacking on pranks when people stop blaming me for stupid shit that happens to them. anyhow, let me know if you think of any good ones, or just do it to me. whichever.

why does music sound so good when it's soooo loud? its like sprinkling msg on your sesame chicken, it just adds another dimension, you know? I've been listening to cursive for the last hour, and it rules. the good thing about listening to music really loud is that you can sing along to it and you don't feel that stupid, you know?

pizza

2007-12-24T18:24:00.000-08:00

thank god for domino's. its the christmas miracle on bulldog avenue.

the "we"kend

2007-12-21T00:21:00.000-08:00

for some time now, I have been plagued with the so called "work disease". I don't really recall how I contracted it, but it might have been from the time when I slept with my first cousins, best friends, mother-in-laws twenty dollar bill.
to be quite honest, I don't think its a disease. being a pathetic socialite might be the actual disease.
work is a quick antidote for people like me who have a hard time compiling the "to dos" on my to do list.
work is like smoking weed. time goes slow like a bologna sandwich on a plate. also, it tends to keep you thinking that you're doing something worth your time. and after you come down from it, you always wonder what the fuck you were doing.
so in essence, work is a natural drug. and we are trying to forget what we might have been doing at the time we are doing it.

where was I? to dumb it all down, i work to pass the time, and also to collect paper in to my wallet dispenser. then proceed to habitually use the money to buy things to pass the time. and then i utilize the object i bought to pass the time even quicker and so on and so forth. the cycle goes on.
so, why is time so valued in this time and age if we are in constant struggle to not look at our wristwatches? why do people try to preserve it like its the fucking manatees?
when people ask me why i work so much in a negative way, it makes me feel like i'm doing something terribly wrong. usually they tend to say things like "why don't you go back to school and get a real career" or "hiro, you are my hero".
now, why the hell do i need a career? so i can someday support people who i can call family that will go through the same moral dilemma as I?
my analyst keeps telling me that the reason why girls won't love me is because i don't set my own path. and that the goals in my life has goalies the size of a black man's cock blocking it. i believe that the real problem is that i have a make-believe shrink that tells me things while i try to type my blog, and also that i use a racial stereotypes for my metaphorical analogies. if only i had an imaginary spice girl singing in my ear, inspiring me to tell them what i really really want.

i do want to apologize for the collar not matching the cuffs. the title really didn't resemble anything i had to say in this blog.

4 effs sake

2007-12-20T00:33:00.000-08:00

christmas time is just around the bend, and it seemed like a proper time to conjure up a new blog. like most pseudo christian, i start feeling the christmas spirit this time of year. but what really is this christmas spirit that everyone seems to get? and why come we succumb to it so swiftly? in light of my new aged outlook, i felt as though there should be a simple answer to this question. I don't want to sound cliche' and start talking about the marketing geniuses that comprise the mass sell of selling. but instead focus on the sellers of the spirit in itself.
adults are the #1 consumers of this make believe entity. unlike believing in santa himself, we adults believe that kids need to be coerced into believing the magic of christmas. many speculate that a child's exposure to impossibilities will multiply the child's left brain activity, thus spawning a different breed of adults. ones with broader imaginations, or an out of the box thinkers so to speak. the paradox of this is that in adult-land, they hate anybody that won't fit the mold of the average. normality is human nature. its like a bird already knowing how to spread its wings and fly.
so, why do most parents put kids through this torture? is this a path that every child needs to take in order to ease into the so-called "reality". in the movie "the matrix", neo has a hard time adjusting to the "real world". morpheaus gently tells him that it is hard for an adult to take such harsh reality, and it's much easier for a kid to adjust to the brutal concept of reality. so, why don't parents just skip the foreplay and tell the kids from early on that santa is as real as a unicorn shooting marshmallow farts. wouldn't the innocent child be more sculpted for the real world in his/her midst?
now, the reality is, I have no fucking clue where i'm going with this. it seems as though i broke my train of thought by thinking far too much. the irony in all this is that if i would have been a more avid thinker, i wouldn't have run into this sort of conundrum. so let me just end by saying, to be continued..... maybe...

saturday nights

2007-12-09T01:01:00.000-08:00

philly steak pizza, stargate, one cigarette, high cassian, josh everett, bret, and blogspot. if stargate shows boobs, would just about be the best night of my life.

the new kick

2007-11-28T22:10:00.001-08:00

rigorous fitness routine, reading, healthy dietology, music and internetting. if you want to be part of it, screw you, cause part of my new stasis is departing from the everyday life of inter-human dependents. don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with that, but I've been leaning heavily on being with people to pass my days. as a form of social experiment or self revolution, I've decided to drastically decrease the number of hours I spend with others. well, work excluded. so, if I don't see or hang out with you guys, it's because I'm trying to avoid everyone, it's definitely not because I hate you or you've done something. seriously.

thats it

2007-11-25T12:31:00.000-08:00

day off. today. sunday. nothing to do. watched tv, smoked, ate, and recorded stuff. it's half past noon right now, n I don't feel like doing much. motivation factor is on the downward slope during theese hours of nothing. but the real question is, what should I be doing in place of nothing? reality is, when you have a day off, you shouldn't really do anything all day. I almost want to just lie in my bed and skim the thin lines of sleeping and waking. am i a lazy person for feeling such animosity towards getting my ass up? no, hell no. I think that everyone wants to be doing what I'm doing right now. it's the most simple method of living. if I subtracted this laptop, and maybe my comfortable surroundings, I would be just like a wild animal. all I have to worry about is how to get food. but eating is even a chore. chores are what parents like to give out. I don't like it. well, i feel like i am wasting energy writing this blog, so I must come to a halt with all this clik claking and go back to staring at my ceiling.

pet my peeves

2007-11-18T00:54:00.000-08:00

when I lay in bed thinking about things, i usually commit myself to think on one thing. last night I decided to think about pet peeves. this is another "list" type blog of all my pet peeves.

1. bloody nose in the shower - this occurs mostly when the shower is too hot and I get overwhelmed by all the heat. Or, when I simply pick my nose b4 showering. the only way to finish the shower without calling it a "blood bath" is to pop my head back and soak while I stare at the spiders on my ceiling.

2. text messaging while driving - I swear to god, the most dangerous method of running over people on the street.

3. smelly house - no one likes hanging out at a house that smells like a fishes butthole, or living in it. so, the cardinal rule to not having your house smelling like lambed curry is to not cook foreign food in your house. if you want good foreign food, just go out and eat. it's probably tastes much better that way.

4. pimply back - no one wants to touch someone with a pimply back.

5. battery powered anything - remotes are the best example. its worst when your battery runs out of juice. a remote was invented for people who are lazy. why would a lazy person get motivated enough to go buy batteries at the store? even the task of getting up, getting new batteries from your battery shelf, and then inserting the new battery seem like an impossible task. someone, please invent a kinetic remotes

6. single ply toilet paper - why in the world does my parents still buy them?

7. bluetooth - i never seen it used in a cool way. scientist spent millions of tax dollars inventing this device and the coolest thing you can use it for was trading ringtones and wallpapers between you and your friends cellphones.

8. punctuation - i can never get it right and i never get enough gumption to really take the time to learn it. it just makes the smarter people look smarter and the dumber people look like a horses ass.

9. warm soda - nothing worse than a warm rootbeer to go with your cold pizza. I know, I know, you can get ice and put it in a glass. but who really has the time for that?

10. pet peeves - no matter how awesome you are, you are part of someone's pet peeves. for example, I know people have a problem with me writing blogs about personal pet peeves that they can't really relate to. right?

my will 2007

2007-11-11T07:01:00.000-08:00

someone told me that we could die at any given time. so in the name of all that is holy, I give you my will.

scion: creditors, bastards
1960's epiphone crestwood: johnny, I know he will use it well
laptop: shino - always whining to dad that she deserved mine more than I did
bike: cassian - he always needs a ride
"fuck" belt buckle: bret - he would actually wear it
clothes: jut - fit his body and steez the best
drums: phil - cause he's almost alright at it
books: shino - so she can look smart
dvd's: bret - I was with him when I bought most of it
stereo system: becky - I don't know why really
watches: dad - he loves those watches
bed: chaunte - she was there when I bought it
coffee table: chaunte - she was there when I bought it and she told me that she's always wanted the one I was getting
acoustic guitar: erik - because he sucks at it.
pac-man beanie: alison - she has the only other one in provo
cell phone: mom - she could see who I've been texting lately
low rider bike: aubrey - she was the first one to honestly compliment on it
sushi knives: gb - my favorite fellow sushi chef
ipod: lauren - cause hers is broken and I listened to her explain how hers broke 3 seperate times.
what is left of my japanese candy: buried with me suckers
fake dog tag necklace: mom - it could be a memento of me for her to wear
space heaters: andy and johnny - cause their house is fucking freezing
lamps: mckay - I haven't given him anything yet
half of the guitar hero that me and bret bought: mandi - we talked about playing it for the past year or so
magazines and comics: josh everett - he'd probably have them already but he would treat them right
anchor wall hanger: becky - duh
rock climbing gear and the rest of my membership at the quarry: andy - he likes climbing
apollo guitar: I think it would be the coolest thing to find in a grave with someone, and maybe someone will think that I was actually good at the guitar.
headless bass: johnny - he would probably fix it and play it in one of his bands
journals: mom and dad - they'll really know how I was killed.....
bass amp: mckay - papa pistolero beotchs
cd's: shino - cause I want her to be into good music
tool box: D.I. - the tool box sux yo, no one would want it.
records and record player: zac hill - all those nights we smoked in his car listening to music. bong
cigarettes: also zac hill - doi
flowbee: becky - by far the best and most used person when it comes to hair cuts within friends
robocut: becky - same answer as the previous
couch: jun, for puking on his a few years back
misc music gear except for the headset mic: bret - he uses them anyway
headset mic: wink - no one else saw me with it on as he did
the money that I have saved up: shino - needs it to move her ass out of our parents house
vhs: buried in my back yard.

so, thats about all that I physically own. if you want something of mine that I hadn't listed yet, just let me know, I will add you and the item on this list. well, I'm sure you need a lawyer or notary public to notarize this e-document. but, I'm sure someone will take care of that, right?

will updated: Nov. 16th 2007